First off, I just wanted to ask people where they're posting. Are you posting only to DW? To DW and LJ? Different things to both? I'm getting overlap between my DW circle and my LJ flist, and I wanted to restructure so that doesn't happen anymore. Thanks!

As for warnings, there are people with whom I have a lot of respect for that have been showing their asses all over the internet for the last few days to the point that I am flinching and hiding my head under the covers for them.

And I should start by saying that I have always been against warnings. I am one of those people who like to read a fic not knowing what's going to happen, and just letting it all unfold in front of me. I like being taken on a journey and not knowing exactly where I'm going to end up.

Because of this, I have never included warnings on my fic or my rec lists. I'm also a survivor of rape, and I tend to avoid most (not all, but most) non-con/dub-con writing, nor do I write it myself. I don't enjoy reading about eating disorders or self-harm, so I've rarely read those stories and I've never written them.

However, as uncomfortable as some of the subjects make me, I do not have the reaction to it that some people do. These are not triggers for me.

And whatever issues I might have with impertinence, she has brought to light the fact that not warning has serious consequences for some people. [Feel free to read about it here, if you haven't already. Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery]

Given this, I'm going to check my fic and my recs page over the next few weeks and make sure that everything that needs a warning has a warning. But because I dislike how warnings give away the story, I'll probably white out the warnings, so people can read them if they wish, or ignore them if they don't want to know what's going to happen. I do write sibling incest, but I believe the pairing label makes it obvious when that is going to figure into a story.

I would like to say that I disagree with the argument that says that those who choose not to use warnings do so to purposely hurt others. But I do think that taking a little extra time and making compromises to ensure that people don't get hurt is usually the best choice in these situations.

So yeah, I just wanted to throw it out there to those of you who are talking. There are people out here who are listening.

I've had this super weird morning where I realized that I have never heard of most of the people in Supernatural fandom. Like, I remember when fandom was new, and the pilot and the first few episodes had aired, and everyone pretty much knew each other, at least by name, whether we liked each other or not.

Like, I don't think any fandom will ever actually feel like my Jossverse experience simply because that was my first fandom, so while there was a lot of different opinions on favorite characters and such, everyone on my flist watched Jossverse shows. It was definitely an immersive experience, and Supernatural fandom was the first that I was in from the beginning. I was crazy about the show before the pilot officially aired, which was an amazing experience, but now the way the newer people in fandom seem to view the characters differently, focus on different things in fic, and it has changed the feel of the fandom. Which isn't me saying that they should get off my lawn, it's just realizing that I moved into one neighborhood, and all these people moved in after me, and I after 40 years (or 4 seasons), I don't really recognize the place anymore.

And with SGA ending a while ago, Supernatural and I finally calling it quits, bandom and I the relationship that almost was, and SCC getting cancelled, I don't have an active fandom. I mean, I have my remix story to write, and a few stories in SCC that I'm working on, a long bandom story that I'm about 10,000 words into, a John/Ronon story that has languished for over a year, and some CW RPS stuff, so it's not like now that I'm writing again there isn't stuff to write. But after I finish with that, unless something catches my fancy next season, there's nothing. I love Numb3rs, Bones, and Being Human, but I'm not fannish about them. Since I got into fandom in 2002, I haven't been without a fandom. I've been busy and kind of creatively dried up the last few years, but I was still read fic, watched episodes, and got into the meta for shows. It's kind of scary to think I might not have an active fandom.

[And as much as I adore bandom, and I love to read the fic, I think I gravitate to fiction, particularly television shows, in fandom more than RPS.]

Or I guess it's not about the writing so much as it's not having new stuff coming out to talk about. I just won't notice as much when I have stuff to write, and it's summer so most TV shows are on hiatus, but I've never been seriously in a fandom after they stopped putting out new source material, and I have this block when it comes to writing fic for a show that I'm no longer watching. I couldn't write fic for Smallville after I stopped watching the show, and I don't think I'll be able to for Supernatural. Which is also weird because the stories that I am really interested in at this point are the stories I'm probably not going to get -- young Bobby, Mary's story, John's story, Jo's story, and hell, Ruby's story. So it's not like I couldn't write it anyway. Just ugh.

OK, I'm rambling and totally annoying myself now.

comment at dreamwidth

I figured out what fic I'm going to remix, and I think I even know how I'm going to go about remixing it. \o/ I'm going to start on it today, so if I do need to start again or I realize it's going to be insanely long, I have time to deal. I feel so prepared and weirdly adult. Strange.

But yeah, I am so a remixing fool.

Also, I've read so much fic lately, I can't even. Here are a few I liked A LOT.

Domestic Bliss & Other Oxymorons by winterweathered [Jared/Jensen, R]
This fic is so good. I mean, it's ridiculously funny, well-written, and I like it a lot. I think my favorite part is actually Jensen talking to his mom on the phone, oddly enough. But this works so well. The only thing? I LOVE this Danneel, and I kind of want to read a companion piece where she has someone awesome, because she's badass.

Talking points by winterlive [Jared/Jensen, NC-17]
So awesome. I kind of want to vote for Jensen, and run off with Adrianne. And Jim is so long suffering that I can't even. And I like how danny gives the minor characters attention so they are as likable and interesting as her main characters. Two thumbs up.

In The Walls by thesamefire [Gen, MCR Bandom, R]
This was creepy as fuck. I read this in the middle of the night, in the dark, with my closet door open, and about 3/4 of the way through, I got up and shut my closet door. I don't find most horror fic all that scary, but this actually did freak me out in several places. Basically, it's bitchin.

A World So Small by wordslinging [Frank/Gerard, R]
This, um, reminded me a lot of a gay sex version of Jane Eyre. It's super crackfic, and she didn't write it sounding like a period piece, but it works really well anyway. I enjoyed the hell out of it.

So this year I signed up for the Remix, and it should be interesting. I've started writing again, but it's more a line here or there or a rough outline for a fic on the envelope my phone bill came in, and I need to get into the habit of writing again.

And I totally had other things I wanted to say about how weird life has been lately, or maybe post pictures of the cabin I went to on vacation. Then I spent an hour trying to figure out what album I consider The Best Album. I mean, I narrowed it down to Rage Against the Machine's The Battle of Los Angeles, Janis Joplin's Pearl, Johnny Cash's At Folsom Prison, Led Zeppelin's Led Zeppelin II, The Rolling Stone's Aftermath, Nirvana's Nevermind, or Jeff Buckley's Grace. Which obviously people will disagree with, and on a personal level, I totally want to add Hole's Live Through This or Prince's Purple Rain.

Basically, I've been wasting time while trying to recover from my massive headache. Next time my mother needs help chiseling up tile, I should run.

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So it's summer again, and summer means that I put away all of my nonfiction and angsty fiction, which I won't read again until the temperature drops below 85, and I break out my light reading. This means I'll read the entire Austen collection and keep my reading light and fun. At least, that was my intention.

Last summer, thanks to the Bunners, I discovered Jennifer Crusie. I was one of those people that insisted that I didn't like romance novels (Austen and a few choice others aside), but I LOVED Crusie. I devoured Welcome to Temptation, Bet Me, and Faking It. The others were OK, but those - those were so good. And so I decided this summer to try to find some light, funny romances, basically romcoms in book form.

So far, this is not working. Jennifer Crusie is a big fan of Susan Elizabeth Phillips, so I thought I'd check her out. Let's just say that the book was... not my kind of reading. So then I tried Nora Roberts and picked up a few of her books at the used bookstore where I had a credit, and can I just ask WHAT IS THE OBSESSION WITH RAPE, ROMANCE AUTHORS?

( my summer of not so light reading )

Also, I am so addicted to Harper's Island, and while I know it can't go on forever, it makes me sad that it's going to end so soon. Someone needs to dish with me about who they want to survive and who they think the killer is.

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As a present to me for my graduation, Bunners went through and found my lapsed rec list online and copied it, updating the links. Needless to say, it was an awesome present, and while I really don't read much in the way of new Smallville fic anymore, I updated this with the amazing fics that I've read in the last couple years.

Smallville fic is my go-to fandom whenever I need comfort fic, and these are some of my favorites. Most of the fics are Clark/Lex, but there are some others in there as well.

Smallville Rec List

Fandom needs to love itself more. Like, for instance, if you have self-confidence issues, a crippling lack of self-esteem, and/or you spend hours in your room berating yourself while listening to bad emo music, don't put your name on an anonymous meme that says, TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK.

Most people have absolutely no problem telling you when they love your writing and think you're a genius. The people that comment to these things are oftentimes the ones that don't like your writing. And there's a good chance that something they say to you will have a basis in reality, but whether they are right or wrong, think about how much you want someone publicly talking about how much they think your work sucks or just isn't all that good. If you can take it and want to hear it, that's cool. But god help me, if you sign up for one of those, don't complain by the responses you get! Because really, fandom + anonymity does not usually go well, nor should we expect it to!

Don't act like you're new!

And I have a ficlet since I watched Terminator yesterday afternoon. Might as well jump into this writing thing again, right? Right.


Terminator Salvation, Blair/Marcus, Blair/Kyle, rated PG-13, 735 words.



Heartbeat


( The sky is brown and smells like dirt and ashes baking too long under the sun. )

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I'm really heartbroken over the cancellation of the Sarah Connor Chronicles. I liked the first season a lot, and by the end of the second season, I felt fannish about the show and a ridiculous amount of love for the characters and now it's over, and I just - it was an amazing show. I'm not saying it was a perfect show, but it was smart and interesting, and SARAH MOTHERFUCKING CONNOR. Its been years since I've loved a fictional character this much, and god. Fox, you suck so bad.

I'm trying to not be bitter about the fact that they kept Dollhouse and cancelled SCC, because I know it's just petty.

Also, I'm about to start a writing project, and I have been writing for he last few years, but everything is partially done, and the only fic I've finished in the last two years has been for Yuletide, which means that I've spent the last few days trying to convince myself that everything I write isn't going to suck. Basically, I've been fighting with what Jay Smooth calls the Little Hater. The battle is kind of epic and ugly right now. God, I hate trying to write after taking such a long break.

I am, however, taking a 4 day vacation next week. I'm going to stay in a little cabin in Pinetop, which is 4 or 5 hours north, without phone or internet access. I need to recharge my battery and get out of the city for a while before I have an adult job. (It wasn't until school ended and people started to comment on how relaxed I've been that it has really made obvious just how exhausting and stressed out classes and the city makes me.) The Bunners is coming out to stay with me, and I plan on watching T:SCC and old seasons of Angel as well as write. That's it. Maybe I'll go for a hike or take time out to rent one of the paddle boats and hang out at the lake, but that's a big maybe.

While there are a lot of reasons why I love the desert and Phoenix in particular, I miss living by the water, and since the swine flu stuff has postponed my trip with Pru to Mexico, I think this is exactly what I need. Relaxation, TV, writing, and no contact with the wider world. <333

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I just finished my very last final. Holy hell, I actually earned my degree.

Tomorrow is my commencement ceremony (with Pres Obama speaking!) and I feel kind of "Are you sure? Really, I'm done? Holy fuck."

\o/


click here to comment!

Class has been a nightmare over the last few weeks. ( the fifth rule of a safe space is that there is no such thing as a safe space )

I have a ton of other stuff to say, but eh. Mostly, I just want it to be May 14th, so I'll be finished with finals, graduation, and everything else. No! Even better, I want it to be August, so I can be living in an apartment ALL BY MYSELF, and hopefully working at a job that doesn't leave me broke and smelling like salsa when I get home. Dear world, GET TO WORK ON THIS.

on to the commenting

eta: I have 4 Dreamwidth invites if anyone wants.

I'm about to head off to class, and I just wanted to know who wants an invite code. I should get them tonight when it goes open beta, and if any of y'all want one, I'd be happy to give them.

[I'd like to give out the first ones to people who want to use the service rather than just name squat. If not that many people want the codes, I can totally open it up to the name squatters, but first the people who want to use it, please.]

You know, back when I had permanent rec lists and I recced all the time, one of my very favorite things about it was the fact that I was embarrassed by the idea of reccing something I hadn't left a comment to, so it made me better at commenting on fic/graphics/vids that I loved.

When I first started on LJ, I used to comment to all new fic that I liked. Every single one. God, I remember back when I used to friend everyone back, and it took me an average of 3 or 4 hours to read my flist after school/work, I would go through and leave paragraphs of feedback on fics. And then I got busier and realized that the reason why I never had time for anything was the fact that my flist was out of control, and I pared back my flist a lot, and then I started giving shorter feedback and sometimes I'd forget to leave feedback at all.

But having a rec list kept me honest. Because really, I always figured that if I loved something enough to rec it, the writer should know that I loved it. It's encouraging, it's a nice pat on the back for a job well done, and it was my way of saying, "Hey, this is badass, write moar pls" without being completely obnoxious.

But anyway, I've been rewatching the last episodes of s2 of SCC, and it drives me crazy that I've totally gone from liking the show a whole lot to actually loving the show and feeling fannish about it, and I keep getting these google updates saying that its on the chopping block/pretty much cancelled/the funeral is in a week. A significant part of me is hoping, even if it's unlikely to happen, that it'll get a stay of execution and either be moved to a better time slot, or they'll do with it what they did with Friday Night Lights and move it to DirectTV.

I can hope!

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I love it when Polyamorous Recs is updated. And! And! I found three super awesome Sarah Connor Chronicles fics linked that I love and must share with you. [I'm sure there are more, but I just started reading.]

Cemetery Side Road by cherryice. This is an absolutely gorgeous story about Riley. It's short but very powerful.

Seven Sunday Mother-Daughter Mornings by hradzka. Honestly, I never thought I'd want to read a story about the Savannah or Catherine Weaver, but I read this and I loved it. I'd never really spent much time thinking about how Savannah regards her mother now, or how they interact with one another. But this. Oh, I could read a lot more of this.

Uptight by smercy. This Sarah Connor is so unbelievably well-written and badass. I love this take on the show and I wish it was longer.

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OK, this has been bothering me a ton, and I figure it's about time for me to put something out there about this.

viciouswishes made a post speaking about her feelings on Dreamwidth. Which, you know, awesome, whatever. Not everyone is going to want to move, some people don't like change, and some people love LJ exactly how it is. I get that. When there was the migration to IJ a few years ago, I wasn't ready to leave. It wouldn't have mattered if Insanejournal did a special dance for me, gave me six billion userpics, and a free pony. I didn't want to move and there wasn't a whole lot at that point that would have made me change my mind. So honestly, while I am excited about DW, I'm not saying that everyone is a moron because they aren't pinning on their I <3 Dreamwidth badge. And honestly, from what I've read from the two creators of DW, they aren't expecting people to move in those kind of numbers. And again, April 30th is only open beta. They're still figuring things out and removing the bugs. That'll be going on for some time.

So yeah, I don't expect that my flist will move to DW, and while there's some mildly unpleasant snark about DW, my main issue has to do with people, like myself, that are moving there and intend it to be our permanent home. Or at least semi-permanent, since in fandom migrations happen and this isn't the first and probably won't be the last.

The post says, Good job, BNFs (and others), in disabling LJ comments, but still cross-posting and forcing LJ users to go to Dreamwidth to interact with you. Which is snarky, IMO, but in the comments people said that their reactions to this is negative, that they are likely to dislike people who do this, and that it's saying that people who do this obviously don't want to interact with people still on LJ. But, um, OK, this is my issue. If I leave a link on the bottom of my LJ that leads you to my DW comment page, it's really not an extra step on top of what you have to do on LJ. You still have to hit the comment button in order to leave a comment. As long as someone has a OpenID account, which is what I had before I got my invite code, and takes only a few minutes tops to setup, there aren't any additional steps to those one would have commenting on someone's LJ.

When I decided I wanted to read stele3 and she was on IJ, I got an OpenID on IJ so I could respond to her. It wasn't a big deal. If someone doesn't crosspost, you can RSS them so you can read them on your LJ, which is what I do with stele3's journal.

I'd like to keep all my comments in one place. It's nice to have one clear record of my interactions with people. I enjoy people commenting to each other and seeing that interaction as much as them commenting to the main post, and that works better if everyone is dealing with the same set of comments and see the same record of interaction. Hell, if meta comes into the mix, having to separate sets of conversation ongoing would be a real drawback in seeing what's going on in the larger reaction. To me, it's a matter of structuring one's way of speaking and interacting with their chosen platform, and is no different than when someone has filters or separates their personal journals from their fic journals. It has to do with how we get our information. Now I don't use filters, but I don't mind them, because I understand why people do.

Additionally, my issue is the misinformation like here I'm with you. Especially re: BNFs who, even if cross-friendslist functionality exists, are basically saying they won't continue to read anyone who doesn't get a Dreamwidth account. I haven't seen anyone do this, but I can believe it. . I haven't seen this AT ALL. I don't know anyone who has. One of the reasons I chose to move to DW is that it's working to allow a multitude of different journaling services to be put into my one subscription list, so I can easily keep up with livejournal, insanejournal, and journalfen, and I won't be cut off from the people who I've been in fandom with for six and a half years. Now, I'm not going to say that no one in fandom will say something like this, because well, it is fandom, but the fact that no one I know has seen this does mean it's probably not happening and certainly not common.

Wanting all my comments in one place doesn't mean that I'm an asshole, and doesn't mean that the other people that are doing this are assholes or elitist. It's like saying that because someone disables comments when they link to fics in communities and redirects to their actual journal for commenting, they are spitting on the community. Since when does having comments and interactions in one place a sign of being a jerkwad.

Now that said, if someone decides not to comment to me because of this and defriends me because I've moved my main communication to another journal, there's nothing I can do about that. I've had people on my flist make clear the fact that they have no intention commenting to anyone that moves their comments to DW, and if that's what they want to do, OK. But my choice to do so doesn't mean that I don't want to interact with the larger fannish community. It just means that I like everyone talking in one room rather than having to run between two.

And I wish everyone who wanted a DW could have one right now. I wish I had invites to give out, and I'll be more than happy to distribute them as soon as I get them, because for people who want a DW, I want them to have one. I know that I was twiddling my thumbs and TRYING VERY HARD to have patience when I saw people on flist getting DW accounts and I didn't have one yet. But I don't think that getting a DW means your elitist or a Fandom Separatist.

link to DW comments

thefulcrum is made of WIN AND SUNSHINE. NO REALLY. She wrote a tutorial on how to import my stylesheet into Dreamwidth, AND MY JOURNAL IS NOW BEAUTIFUL AND MAGICAL.

I'm leaving a link to comment on my posts now, which will direct y'all to Dreamwidth. HOWEVER, it directs you to the comment page on Dreamwidth, so as long as you have an open ID, it's the same amount of steps that it would take to comment in livejournal, and with your email confirmed, you'll get a notification just like you would if you'd commented in my livejournal. Badass, huh?

Link to comment.

I started off my morning with Indian food - yum. (Leftover Shrimp Vindaloo and naan -- because even though I tell myself every time I go that I'm going to have something different, I always end up with Shrimp Vindaloo. I LOVE IT. Although this time I got it hot instead of medium and WHOABOY that is some spice.)

( dreamwidth stuff )

But anyhoo, I have this incredibly shameful secret. Like, completely and totally embarrassing. So one day, a week or two ago, bunnymcfoo and I were talking about how we both read VC Andrews as kids -- me when I was 10 and her a few years after. So we start reminiscing and talking about how VC Andrews probably deserves the credit for so many people embracing the crazy space incest on Firefly, the brother incest on Supernatural, etc.. Now while we're having this discussion, I start talking about how much I loved the Heaven and Flowers in the Attic series when I was a kid. Like, Heaven/Troy was this BIG, EPIC love story that broke my heart and sucked me in. When I was a kid, it was right up there with Sarah Connor/Kyle Reese from Terminator and Brenda/Dylan in 90210. [No comments from the peanut gallery! I should probably be embarrassed that this many years later, my all time favorite pairings from movies/lit are Lex/Clark, Ruth/Iggy, Tim/Kon... and Sarah/Kyle.]

But after that conversation I kept trying to remember stuff about these books, and I couldn't because it's been about a decade and a half since I last read any of the books. And I - I totally grabbed them from the used bookstore last week and started reading. Not all of them, mind you. I remember stopping reading them as a kid because I didn't like any of the books after the Heaven and Flowers in the Attic series. [Apparently, VC Andrews died after the first few of those, and the reason I no longer liked the writing style is because it was being written by someone else under her name. WEIRDS.] But I find myself as sucked into the melodrama as I was a kid. Although, omg, VC Andrews, why is everyone in your world white, even when they're in the south, and why, oh why, are your gender issues turn so gross just when you're about to do something super awesome and subversive? [Like, hey, Heaven is this really strong woman, and Troy is the one that doesn't have the best health and emotional strength! Troy is supposed to be attractive even though he isn't strong and "manly" in every way! But then let's talk shit about Cal because his problem isn't that he's a child molester, it's that he let's Kitty "emasculate" him by not allowing him to run his house like a man should. *facepalm*]

But yeah, so far I've re-read Heaven, Dark Angel, and the prequel to Flowers in the Attic... which has a name that is escaping me right now. But yeah, somehow I am sucked in despite the horrible class stuff, Andrews' painful attempt at dialect, and the endless emo very, very bad writing. While she might not have been a good writer, and while it might make me slightly embarrassed to say this, I think VC Andrews could tell one hell of a story.

[I am kind of amused that my VC Andrews books were bought with pomo theory, critical race theory, and radical feminist theory books. One of these things is not like the other!]

But hey, talk to me about your guilty pleasure reading!

I now have an account over at Dreamwidth, thanks to ceefus and the bunners. [Thanks! I didn't want to go begging, but I really, really wanted one.] So far, so good. It's weird being on a journaling system that isn't livejournal, particularly because it's still in the beta stage so everything isn't up and functioning yet, but I AM STILL SUPER EXCITED.

My journal is http://vylit.dreamwidth.org/profile

I was going to work on getting a layout that's actually attractive, but I figured I'd wait until they have their layouts up and then I can see about maybe tweaking one of those. My current layout isn't supported by Dreamwidth so I'll have to make some changes there. And my comments didn't come with my journal entries, but I put in a support request for that.

And not related to Dreamwidth, OMG SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES YOUR FINALE IS KILLING ME. YOU HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER SEASON. MAKE IT SO.

Also, I don't remember everyone who has posted with their Dreamwidth names, so give me a holler. I'm going to be crossposting between Dreamwidth and Livejournal, but after I get the journal layout figured out, I'm going to be disabling comments here and directing comments to my Dreamwidth link. I think that'll make it easier to keep track of comments, which is OBVIOUSLY important.

Last Thursday I had a graduate student that I'm taking a class with talk to my professor about my grad school freak outs. You know, the feeling in the pit of my stomach that says that while I'm smart, if I send in my applications they are going to take one look at them and be all, you seriously think we'd let you into a PhD program hahahahahaha or you could get in, but you can't pay for it, you broke ass fool hahahahaha. So I pulled after class and my professor said that I'm one of the most promising students that she's ever had when it comes to grad school, and that while there are people who don't think like an academic, the way I approach theory, methodology, and the texts show an academic's grasp of the material, and she will write me a glowing recommendation. Which, you know, actually helps a lot. And she said that she's helped several Chicanas get into grad school and she'd be more than willing to help me shape my personal letter, etc. [Last semester I was a research assistant for another professor who gave me a list of things I should include in my personal letter -- mother never finished high school, 2nd generation American (United States), 1st person in my family to graduate from a 4 year university, Chicana, sexual identity, reason I'm particularly interested in the program -- but she assumed that I'd have some basic understanding of how this should be woven into a personal letter and I really don't. This professor got just how clueless I am. Rock.] And this professor is on the board for an interdisciplinary master's degree program at this school, which she said I would get into if I apply, so there's always that if I don't get accepted into/can't afford a PhD program.

Also, I decided about a month or so ago that I wasn't going to go to my graduation ceremony, because I hate graduation ceremonies. However, my college announced last week that President Obama is going to be a speaker and along with my desire to see him speak, my mother made it quite clear that she'd stab me in the face if I didn't go so she could get a ticket.

Alsoalso, I need to spend less time on cracked.com. That website really is my crack.

[In conclusion, dolphins are assholes]

Today I forgot my cigarettes in my car, had the most disgusting lunch on the planet (I only ate three bites and those were three disgusting ass bites, lemme tell you), and had a bird shit on my head. SHIT ON MY HEAD. Which made me nearly lose the three disgusting bites of my lunch, and necessitated a five minute bathroom break where I had my head over the sink and a friend of mine trying to get it out. SO GROSS I DIE.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, WORLD?!